This week, we’re going to explore a powerful technique to build rapport with somebody. And if you want to succeed in life, you want to achieve your goals, one of the key skills to master is this ability to connect with other people. And I’m going to show you a very simple technique, that will set you above a lot of other people in this ability to build and connect with other people, i.e. build rapport.
Now what’s happened is as a culture we’ve started to develop an unconscious habit and it has taken over our lives. A lot of times, we’re not even aware that we’re doing it, hence the unconscious habit. Now it wasn’t by accident by any means at all, what has happened is, there have been millions upon millions invested into you to behave like this. And it’s not that we want to get rid of it in any way, well in some ways we do. But it’s not that we want to get rid of it, it’s just that we want to take control back.
And this unconscious behaviour is showing up in meetings, interviews, and it’s happening everywhere we go. So, I’m going to highlight it for you, and it may seem very obvious. But if you follow through with action and just do this one simple thing, when you’re talking to somebody else, you’ll be amazed at the response that you’ll start to get. So, what is it? What is this simple thing that we could all do to help us build better rapport with somebody else? Well when you’re talking to them, do not look at your phone.
I know, isn’t it amazing that how many times, and you’ve probably had this happen to you, you’ve been in conversation with somebody and just very casually, while they’re talking to you, they take out their phone. They’ll look at it and they’ll scroll on it, and they’re not even aware that they’re doing it. Now, what is the message that they’re sending? Probably not doing it consciously, at an unconscious level, what they’re sending is this message, “You’re not interesting. You’re not worthy of my time.” Now, will that build rapport? No, it will not build rapport.
Buzzing and Beeping
So, this one simple thing, that when you’re talking to somebody, regardless of what your phone’s doing, is it buzzing, beeping, flashing lights, ringing, ignore it. In fact, turn it off if it’s an important meeting. I was at a business meeting, and somebody who wanted to do some work with me, was looking at their phone. They did not get the work, I can tell you that. So, turn your phones off. It’s going to be a great way of being able to build rapport with the other person.
Then next week, I’m going to show you a little technique that enables you to listen intently to somebody else. And it’s such a good technique that once you’ve got it, a little bit of practice will be needed, you’ll be able to repeat verbatim what somebody’s just said. So, have a fabulous week. There’s lots going on here. We’re about to release our new book so look out for that. It’s an incredible book and I highly recommend it. Well, I’m a bit biased there so yes.
We just finished doing a webinar this week and it was a great webinar which is launching a new workshop that we’ll be holding in the early months next year which is called, “Weight loss Psychology”. And it will give you control back of your life. Anyway, have a wonderful week and I’ll see you soon.
Book of the week:
Why We Sleep: The New Science of Sleep and Dreams
It is time for us to reclaim our right to a full night of sleep. In doing so, we can be reunited with that most powerful elixir of wellness and vitality. Then we may remember what it feels like to be truly awake during the day.
Sleep is one of the most important aspects of our life, health and longevity and yet it is increasingly neglected in twenty-first-century society, with devastating consequences: every major disease in the developed world – Alzheimer’s, cancer, obesity, diabetes – has very strong causal links to deficient sleep.
Until very recently, science had no answer to the question of why we sleep, or what good it served, or why its absence is so damaging to our health. Compared to the other basic drives in life – eating, drinking, and reproducing – the purpose of sleep remained elusive.
Now, in this book, the first of its kind written by a scientific expert, Professor Matthew Walker explores twenty years of cutting-edge research to solve the mystery of why sleep matters. Looking at creatures from across the animal kingdom as well as major human studies, Why We Sleep delves in to everything from what really happens during REM sleep to how caffeine and alcohol affect sleep and why our sleep patterns change across a lifetime, transforming our appreciation of the extraordinary phenomenon that safeguards our existence.